The Patriot

Grab a tankard of ale, sit back and let me regale you with a tale of heroism, valor, honor, despotism and epic battles as I recount the war for TNP independence!

It all began when the newly crowned Lord Adam of Coxley had a price put on his head. His newly acquired lordship would soon be put to the test. Rival lords, dukes, peasants and even the queen herself, Queen Deb of England, could barely keep their powder dry as they foamed from the mouth in eager anticipation of the war about to be waged.

The first to suffer defeat was the peasant Nicholas, a Russian immigrant to England, who's come oh so close in the past to gaining a lordship, but last night the dogs of war were merciless in their attack and left him bruised and bleeding as he limped from the contest with 1 point.

The second victim to fall by the sword was another peasant, Markus of Sheffield. His return to the battlefield was short lived and he was sent packing back to the bed of Lord Jake with 2 points.

Lord Jeffrey, former king of England, was disposed of with little fanfare. This broken hearted, poor excuse of a former monarch was never even a threat and he tucked tail and ran with 3 points.

Another lord and former monarch, Lord Tanner of Kensington soon followed Lord Jeffrey. Lord Tanner has been dealing with upheavals in his homeland and has yet to regain the former glory he relished in the first quarter of the year. He won 4 points.

Justin, slave of Lord Mark of Canterberry, was next to leave the war ravaged field with 5 points. His reluctance to participate in side pots cost him chips, but overall his galantry on the field was impressive and he'll retake a lead over his master, Lord Mark.

A new peasant, Christophe, a French immigrant, made quite an impressive showing for his first TNP. His shy tone and quiet persona paid off as the lords and peasants he played with knew little of him and were cautious about any frontal attacks. Christophe earned 6 points for his first outing. Viva la France!

Hoping to regain some dignity from last weeks trouncing, the queen herself, Queen Deb of England, current reigning monarch, didn't let her generals fight this week. No, she came off her throne and lead the charge herself. Still, her valiant efforts were not enough and she ended the battle with 7 points, her reign remains firmly in her grasp, however, for the foreseeable future.

Weary from work and grappling with banks, real estate agents and title companies, Lord Stevie of York fought with distinction, but fell nevertheless yet won 8 points for his countrymen.

Once the rabble had been removed from the field, the main fight was ready to begin. Coming into tonight's game, Lord Adam of Coxley was very confident as to his chances. Even the survivors who had gathered to watch the ensuing contest were rather lopsided in their assessment of who the eventual winner would be. However, someone forgot to tell Lord Jake of Shrapshire that he was supposed to lose! And so, after the smoke had cleared, the injured and dead removed from the field of battle, the guns stacked and the cannons cooled, Lord Jake stood victorious. Unable to retain his bounty point, Lord Adam retreated from the battle with 10 points.

Standing tall amongst the rubble, Lord Jake gathered the flags of the fallen, drank a toast to their efforts, took his wench Markus and celebrated with the vanquished, lifting a tankard to victory, honor, tradition and 13 points!

And so ends my tale of war. But worry not, those defeated this week will be seeking revenge, he who won now has a price on his head, those so far denied the throne will do whatever to have it, and those who once sat on high looking down want nothing more than to do so again. All hail Britannia! Long live the queen!



Let the scribes record:

10. Nick 1
9. Markus 2
8. Jeff 3
7. Tanner 4
6. Justin 5
5. Chris 6
4. Deb 7
3. Stevie 8
2. Adam 10
1. Jake 13 including 1 bounty point


Many thanks to Mark for cooking our burgers, and kudos to all who brought something to eat or drink. Everyone was complaining of how full they were following the game. It was much fun. We'll see you all next week and may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!