Proposed Procedures Changes

Here's something to consider. With fall coming and with school starting, how would you feel about starting at 7PM instead of 7:30? And what about the following blind/ante schedule?

Level _Ante __ Small Blind __ Big Blind
1_____0______$10_____________$20
2_____0______$25_____________$50
3_____0______$25_____________$50
4_____0______$50_____________$75
5_____0______$75____________$100
6____$25_____$75____________$150
7____$50____$100____________$200
8___$100____$150____________$300
9___$100____$200____________$400
10__$200____$300____________$600

After the first 5 players are eliminated, we'll institute an ante which will insure everyone is in the pot even if they should fold out if not in the blinds. This will help eliminate limpers from waiting for better cards for free and help move the game along at a faster pace. Also, we can STRICTLY enforce the 30 minute blind raises. This is all in an effort to see to it that the game is finished by around 11PM.

Tuning up the crystal ball

Well, it's been a couple of weeks, but let's see how the polls held up.

Deb certainly did immediately retake the lead.

We missed this one. Nick did indeed pass Adam. Course, Adam wasn't there, but still.

We correctly predicted that Mark would lose his lead.

We missed this one to. By one point, Jake keeps a lead over Crystal.

Dam old people, drink Metamucil, 30's not that old!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Sweet, innocent Snow White was angry to discover one of the dwarfs had taken her chair while she was away. In order to correct this, she gathered the dwarfs and the evil queen and calmly explained to them that this was her chair, and that no one, and I mean NO ONE was allowed to sit in it. So, to teach them all a lesson, she began to eliminate them one by one.

The first to go was Grumpy (mark). He started out so well, but Snow White had a flush he didn't see and it cost him dearly. Grumpy finished playing, however, and earned 1 point.

Soon to follow Grumpy was Doc (jeff). He was the last person to sit in Snow White's chair and was the one Snow White wanted to see go away soonest. Doc could only squeeze 2 points out of the game they were playing.


For the second time, Happy (justin) put out Doc with a full house! Doc was none too pleased with Happy, and has a few surprises in store for him. Happy left with Grumpy and 3 points.


Barely able to keep his eyes open, Sleepy (jake) just couldn't get any decent cards. He ended the game with 4 points and took a nap.


Although she played well, the Evil Queen (crystal) kept putting her chips in Sneezy's tray. This along with her obsession with revenge against Snow White and all the dwarfs kept the Queen from winning this night. She ate an apple and left with 5 points.



Dopey (markus) was playing really well. His game has improved, but alas, he began to follow Sleepy's lead and grew tired. Still, his 6 points will improve his standings.


Bashful (chris) became bold when he joined the final table and came from near elimination to near victory. He amassed a huge amount of chips, much to the chagrin of Sneezy, but soon began to lose them. And so Bashful ended his comeback with 6 points.


When it finally came down to heads up, Sneezy (nick) was a very happy camper. He had eliminated Bashful and earned an extra point for the bounty. As soon as he had accomplished this, he withdrew from the contest and allowed Snow White to win without further struggle. Sneezy added 10 points to go ahead of Prince Charming (adam) who was off riding his horse (or a football player).



Snow White (deb) easily won the night. Even though she struggled a bit at first, she played with Sneezy and Bashful as a cat would with two little mice. Her aggressive play had her opponents folding good hands while she held little more than crap. Still, that's what experience does for you. With the dwarfs and evil queen now thoroughly beaten and ashamed, she took back the chair that she's become so accustomed to and chided the little men to not mess with her shit again!




The story by the numbers.

9. Mark 1
8. Jeff 2
7. Justin 3
6. Jake 4
5. Crystal 5
4. Markus 6
3. Chris 7
2. Nick 10 (including Chris' bounty point)
1. Deb 11

And they all lived happily ever after together! YEAH RIGHT!

Let's try this again

Ok, with last week's game voided, let's try this again. Everyone absent last week caught a break. Adam will be missing tonight as he works close to 21 hours straight today. So, Nick has a chance to catch him and Crystal should improve her standings against Jake & Nick. Mark will be there tonight as well, building as many points as he can before he takes on a new task for Wal-Mart. See you all tonight!

I think I'll...

Just wait for this week to see how the polls hold up, since last week's was declared null & void.

NULL AND VOID

Due to irregularities, the Thursday, August 21, 2008 edition of The Admiral's Poker Challenge, Thursday Night Poker, has been deemed null and void. No points awarded, no sanctions imposed.

Pot Luck!

Ok, let's eat! This time, just bring something to eat. No planned menu, this is pot luck. Bring enough for yourself and about 5 or 6 more. We'll eat whatever is there. Start to eat at about 7 with poker thereafter. Desserts, meat, veggies, breads, doesn't matter. We'll eat it.

Thinking out loud

Crystal, Chris, & Markus, remind me Thursday night to take your pictures for the blog. And I was thinking, if anyone would like to write the recap after a Thursday night, just let me know. Mark has written one and so has Adam. And as you may have noticed, I revised the "Shrek" recap. Justin had a better idea, casting himself as Princess Fiona. I liked it and I thought everyone fit their character rather nicely, Nick & Mark in particular. I think we should all start calling Nick Lord Farquaad!

Shrek

Once upon a time there was a mean, vile ogre that lived in the deep forrest. Occasionally, the ogre, called Shrek, would venture into the village and partake in a card game known as poker. Many of the villagers and woodland creatures were frightened of Shrek and with good cause. He had a reputation of being fierce, quick to anger and ferocious. And it was his temper that would cost him his last game of poker. But let me start this fairy tale where all tales should start, at the beginning.



The first to leave our tale is Princess Fiona, faithful wife to Shrek. Poor Fiona, try as she might she can never seem to win when it comes to poker. Fiona (justin) could only take home 1 point. But it was starting to get dark & she had to hurry home before she transformed! If I could, I'd award her 1000 bonus points for living with Shrek!






Next to be cast out from the humble home where the game was being played was Prince Charming. Never winning a single hand, poor prince couldn't even count on his fairy god mother to help him. Prince Charming (adam) could only take 2 points.




In fact, it was his mother who had to leave the game next. To say she was not happy would be like saying Katrina was just a cloudy day in New Orleans. Poor fairy godmother (crystal), despite her magic and her humongous boobs, she could only win 3 points.






Ahh, Donkey. Faithful helper to Shrek. Shrek helped Donkey, and himself, do very well. Donkey (sharon) had to leave early, however, and scurried back into the forrest with 4 points.








Finally regaining his throne, Fiona's father, the King (jeff) won enough points to reclaim the top spot with his 5 points. But will it be enough to hold off the queen when she returns home next week?




Hoping to increase his lead over the peasantry, Lord Farquaad (nick) wants nothing more than to squash his opponents and break them in two! His 6 points will pull him to within striking distance of Prince Charming.


We finally reach the end of our story and discover the moral. You see, Shrek had a huge chip lead over Puss-n-boots, but because Shrek (mark) is an impatient ogre, he allowed the patient, quiet cat to outlast him even though Shrek should and could have won the night. Boxing his chips and stomping off in a rage, he still took the bounty on the King's head and muscled 9 points out of everyone.


Lest you feel sorry for Puss in boots (chris), don't! He's very capable of taking care of himself. His quiet, shy demeanor hides a clever, cunning adversary who must be respected. And now, the bounty is on the puss!

And so ends our tale of ogres, kings, princes, faries and lords. Return next week for another story sure to fill your mind with visions of gallantry, chivallry, adventure and love.


8. Justin 1
7. Adam 2
6. Crystal 3
5. Sharon 4
4. Jeff 5
3. Nick 6
2. Mark 9 (including 1 bounty point from Jeff)
1. Chris 10

Missing polls, missing players

Mark, Justin & Crystal were asking last night where the polls were. Polls for this week would have been futile. Nick will be absent due to work, Markus & Jake will be missing due to a trip to Colorado and Deb is AWOL because of her trip. Figures, I get a chance to finally unseat Deb and what happens? Everyone bugs out! Still, I need everyone's help. I need to win tonight and I need a lot of points. So if you could do 2 things. #1, bring any and everyone to poker. Preferably people who don't reek, can control their bowel movements, can at least hold 2 cards in their hands and know absolutely nothing about poker. #2, of course, LET ME WIN! That is all.

Tallying the polls

By 1 vote, Nick was picked to take the lead in the middle of the pack. And by 1 point, he did.

Sorry Crystal, but the vote was overwhelming. We won't touch, but we'll look and discuss.

This one was a complete upset. Markus has taken the lead in the rear of the pack.

Deb did indeed maintain the lead, but this week could finally see her unseated.

Mark & Justin, dam gays!

Back to the Future

Dr. Emmett Brown's personal diary
Thursday, August 8, 2142

I must assume that if you're reading this, then my mission was a success and the space/time continuum has been restored. It all began way back in August of 2007. I was trying to show my young friend, Markus McFly how to play poker. Back then, Markus was known to imbibe too much during play making him an easy target. In order to help him improve his poker skills, and to help him win the affections of Jake, I invented a time machine and sent myself back in time to tell my young friend about his future and to encourage him to give up the bottle. When I arrived in the past, I let myself lose on that particular night and in so doing began a chain of events that would have cataclysmic consequences, not only for McFly but for the universe!

Yesterday, after repairing the flux capacitor in my 1998 Cadillac De Ville d'Ellegance, I was off to the past. I was able to pinpoint the exact moment when the space/time continuum began to waver from it's established norm and had to return to August 2008 after going back to 2007 on the same night to undo what I had done so I could go back to the future in 2008 and redo what I had done! I hope it's as obvious to you as it is to me, as you may have need of this expertise some day.

The key was repeating what I had originally done in 2007, only this time I had to keep Markus sober. Plus, I had to eliminate all others at the table so that it could be just McFly & I in the heads up.

So, in order to achieve this goal, Jake had to be the first one out. He was at my table and his dismissal was quick & painless, his 1 point a small price to pay for the continued survival of the universe.

Next to be removed from competition was Justin. In order to keep equilibrium, I had to keep the competion close for the middle of the pack. Justin's 2 points assured that.

While Nick wasn't part of the equation from 2007, he was an uncontrollable variable in my experiment and despite his efforts to stay in longer than he should, he was nevertheless removed with 3 points.

Biff Mulanax! Long time bulley and a mean little cuss, I knew there was a soft, tender side to Biff and it was proven when he brought sweet treats for all to enjoy. Biff was allotted 4 points and if I could, I'd have given him 100 bonus points for the dessert!

Deb McFly, matriarch of the McFlys, wasn't feeling well. Still, her steely determination earned for her 5 points.

Adam, reporter and critic at large for the local press, must have been called away for breaking news. I think the news was Nick is drinking, which isn't news but he could have been breaking something. Adam boxed his chips and left with 6 points.

Chris, local banker, was his usual, quiet self. He took out Deb and earned an extra point to add to the 7 he earned making a total of 8.


With the others taken care of, it was me & McFly. As the hour approached midnight, flashes started to brighten the gathering dark clouds. I was running out of time! I had the Caddy secured to the light pole in the front yard, waiting for lightning to strike once again. McFly had played sporadically, just ask Adam. But when it came to heads up, his focus sharpened and his play became consistant. He could smell victory in the air. But in order to set the universe back on course, I had to win again as I did a year ago. So, pushing hard pre flop, going all in several times and risking it all, I finally turned the tide and reversed his early and long lasting peak. As the clock struck 12, even after earning 2 bonus points for a straight flush, Markus McFly finally ran out of luck. Sober and feeling a great sense of accomplishment, McFly ended his run with 11 points.

I had just enough time to get to the Caddy, initiate the flux capacitor and with only seconds to spare, lightning struck the pole, transferring it's 1200 gigawatts of energy to the flux generator and whoosh, I was back in the future! I barely escaped with 11 points, but now that the time line has been restored, I can rest. Wait, I can't! I have to prepare for another trip to the past, so I can see who wins next week, so I can go BACK TO THE FUTURE!

9. Jake 1
8. Justin 2
7. Nick 3
6. Mark 4
5. Deb 5
4. Adam 6
3. Chris 8 (including 1 bonus point for Deb's bounty)
2. Markus 11 (including 2 bonus points for a straight flush)
1. Jeff 11

This is Dr. Emmett Brown, wishing you all nothing but happy tomorrows as you journey into the future!

Shall we gather at the river.....

Well, unless it starts raining soon, Doppler Dave has missed another one. But, whether it's water or dust swirling down the street, it's time once again to gather at the B & B for this weeks edition of the Admiral's Poker Challenge. Deb has the bounty point hanging above her head alone this week, so bring your best poker face and let's suffle up and deal!

Death Becomes Her

The foolish men, thinking they were superior, were only fooling themselves. More queer than a 3 dollar bill each and every one, they would soon discover they were nothing more than fodder for the battle about to ensue. A warm up for the main act that would determine the queen of TNP, if for but only 1 week. For the women who would soon find themselves locked in an epic battle for superiority would use any tactic, resort to any measure to insure the complete and total destruction of the other. Now, let us dispense with the girly men so we can witness the battle of the boobs!

Chris, the first girly man to be easily thrown aside and after such a good showing last week, his 1 point a testament to his lack of power against the boobs.

Mark, arriving late from work, was shown litte respect even though it was his birthday. He said he had to go home early for work the next day, so at least he had a plausible excuse. Here's your 2 points, happy birthday mother fracker!

Nick, coming off a decent week, could ill afford to go out as soon as he did, his struggle with Jake neck & neck. But the boobs had little concern for this petty rivalry and sent the fudge packer away with only 3 points.

Markus, bringing a nice, green salad mix, trying to appease the boobs, was next to be dispensed with. His offering was found unworthy and was awarded only 4 points.

Jake, pitcher or catcher of Markus, the boobs aren't sure, was next to fall to the power of the vagina. Struggling most of the night, he was lucky to garner 5 points.

Adam, resorting to any measure to move up in the standings, offered to pleasure the boobs but was found lacking and was quickly dismissed with 6 points.

Jeff, oh so close to the top boobs, was defeated by the closest thing to boobs without a vagina when his trip 2s were scoffed at by Justin's trip Aces. I took 7 points.

Anthony, flittering and dancing as if he had boobs, is an infrequent visitor and confounded the boobs at first. But soon even this extra girly man was disposed of with his 8 points.

Justin, the only gay left before the boobs, drew from the training he received at the hands of Mark on their own kitchen table, and was able to provide the best showing of all the homos. But even Justin, colored hair and often nails, Elvira impersonator, hair dresser, the epitome of the gay stereotype, could not outlast the boobs. Still, in what I believe is his best showing to date at TNP, was able to scratch out 10 points including my bounty point.


Finally, the stage was set. The only females to frequent TNP & the only straight people to grace us with their presence, would now take off the gloves and show us just how a good cat fight can arouse any straight man alive. Too bad for Crystal she doesn't hang out with any!

All was cordial as the heads up began. Having discarded the girly men with little effort, each had the strength and stamina required to determine just who had the boobs with the most potency. It's a well known fact that Crystal has the biggest, bar none. But Deb has experience and a husband, so hers get a work out from time to time.

The hour was late when the match began. Each had sized up the other, and the chips each possessed were immense. Blinds began at 2 hundred, then 3, 4, 6, 8 and finally 1 thousand, being raised every 10 minutes or so. About mid way into this classic battle, Deb announced all in before a card hit the table. Crystal had established a huge lead, the hour was late and it appeared size would win out over experience. But, as fate would have it, Deb tripped up on jacks and crippled Crystal. The end was not yet, however, and it was 1AM before Crystal, anger and exhaustion taking its toll, finally succumed to the reigning queen of TNP. Still, her 11 points brought her to within 3 of Nick. Quite an accomplishment given her many absences and slip in the standings.

Deb, leader for weeks now, has once again proven age and expierence can and often do pay off. Trying to rebuild her lead over me and preparing for an absence of her own, she left the battle triumphant with 14 points including the bonus she retained for herself.

Here's the breakdown.
11. Chris 1
10. Mark 2
9. Nick 3
8. Markus 4
7. Jake 5
6. Adam 6
5. Jeff 7
4. Anthony 8
3. Justin 10 (including my bounty point from last week)
2. Crystal 11
1. Deb 14 (including 1 bonus point for retaining her own)

The power of the vagina, having proved their superiority, will be back next week to defend their reputations and their gender. Is there a fag amongst us that can reclaim pride for our kind? Is there a limp wrist stong enough to hold a winning hand? Will the power of the penis hang it's head in shame again as the boobs break our backs once more? Return here next week and witness yet again the battle of the sexes!