Shocking!

The final game of TNP Phase 1 did not go out with a whimper but with a bang! Upsets, quads, straight flushes and a first time winner were hallmarks of the concluding contest in Phase 1. Mark suggested that since this was the last of the Phase 1 games, all points should be doubled. Good idea Mark! So let's jump right into the report.

Having the point lead sown up, Deb really wasn't worried about her finish. Still, this consumate winner never likes to lose but after some lousy hands and never drawing a pot, she went all in before a card was dealt. $350 at stake from her, me & Nick and sure enough, it just wasn't her night. First out with 1 point x 2 = 2 points.

Our rookie, Bobby, was out next. He's got the makings to be a great player, needing some time at the table to get the nuances down. Second out with 2 points x 2 = 4 He was kind enough to deal for us the rest of the night. Adam was at the Seinfeld show. Bobby assured us Adam would be UP all night. I'm eager to hear about that!

Crystal took an early dive, ending in 3rd place. She's never satisfied. Put her at one table, she wants to be at the other. Ugh! 3 points x 2 = 6

Justin was out next, unwilling to remove his hat even though he was indoors. I must say, however, his new hair cut really did look good, and to you his words, it's "age appropriate". 4 points x 2 = 8

Par for the course, Mark was out soon after Justin. Nick's call of Mark's stone cold bluff pissed him off. Even Bobby was a little scared when Mark barked "You want me to deal"! I assured Bobby that was just Mark and to think nothing of it. 5 points x 2 = 10

I was out next. Deb's early exit and doubling the points helped me close the gap with her. So, I took her bounty and the points were thus: 6 + 1 = 7 x 2 = 14

Markus made a return for the final Phase 1 game and did a dam good job. He had quad 7s to help increase his standing. 7 + 1 = 8 x 2 = 16

The heads up came down to Chris & Nick. Once Markus was eliminated, the stood and said let's split it. I said hell no, we're not going to end the final Phase 1 like that. After doing a dead eye reckoning of each chip stack, I determined they were as even as could possibly be. One final had to determine the winner. Chris came up on the short end of the hand but wasn't hurt that bad. For you see, earlier in the evening he'd made a straight flush, 9-K of spades. 8 + 1 + 2 = 11 x 2 = 22

Wonders never cease! Nick won! Hallelujah! Appropriate that Nick's first win was our last Phase 1. Congratulations Nick! 10 + 1 = 11 X 2 = 22

And so ends our legendary TNP Phase 1. It's been a blast. But now we embark on a new adventure where the pots are bigger, the game more intense and the challenges just keep coming. We'll see everyone next Thursday night at 7 and until then may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!

9. Deb 1 x 2 = 2
8. Bobby 2 x 2 = 4
7. Crystal 3 x 2 = 6
6. Justin 4 x 2 = 8
5. Mark 5 x 2 = 10
4. Jeff 6 + 1 = 7 x 2 = 14
3. Markus 7 + 1 = 8 x 2 = 16
2. Chris 9 + 2 = 11 x 2 = 22
1. Nick 11 x 2 = 22

Join us as we bid a fond farewell.......

For the better part of 4 years, we've been playing poker on Thursday nights in much the same way. Tonight we bid a fond farewell to TNP Phase 1. It's been a blast, but now it's time to up the ante and play like the pros. The final game for Phase 1 is tonight at 7PM. A tournament is in the works to lay phase 1 to rest and we'll be getting details to you as soon as we get the kinks worked out. Right now it's looking like a heads up tournament with the byes and beginning chip stacks being determined by a formula that takes into consideration points and games played. Look for this tournament some time in late October. And Phase 2 begins next week with new rules, chips and excitement! The following Thursday, October 9th, we'll have our monthly feed bag with "Breakfast for Dinner". Pancakes, egges, hash browns, sausage, bacon, ham, toast, gravy, biscuits, what ever you want to bring. So, we'll see you tonight!

Announcing TNP Phase 2!

At our last game, after having mentioned it here in the blog, a concensus was reached with only 1 dissenter. Therefore, the majority having voted in the affirmative, we start TNP Phase 2 on October 2, 2008!

What does this mean? For starters, we're wiping the slate clean. Deb had the same opinion as I did. It'll be more fun if everyone is in contention for first place. So, this Thursday will be the last game for Phase 1. Adam is working on a weighting system for a final game to determine the ultimate winner of Phase 1. The number of chips you'll be given to start the game will be determined by the amount of points you accumulated during the year. Adam's coming up with a formula so that it won't be too skewed to Deb & myself. Once this is done, we'll have a final game, probably on Sunday, October 12, starting at about 4 in the afternoon and crown our ulitimate winner for Phase 1.

As for Phase 2, the following changes are in store. We'll be instituting antes in conjunction with the blinds. Antes will begin with level 4. Blinds will be as usual, however, the starting chip count is going up. And there will be minimum bets. Here's the break down.

BASED ON 20 MINUTE BLIND INCREASES
Level 1 No Ante Small Blind 10 Big Blind 20
Level 2 No Ante Small Blind 20 Big Blind 40
Level 3 No Ante Small Blind 25 Big Blind 50
Level 4 $10 Ante Small Blind 25 Big Blind 50
Level 5 $25 Ante Small Blind 25 Big Blind 50
Level 6 $25 Ante Small Blind 50 Big Blind 75
Level 7 $50 Ante Small Blind 50 Big Blind 75
Level 8 $50 Ante Small Blind 75 Big Blind 100
Level 9 $75 Ante Small Blind 75 Big Blind 100
Level 10 $100 Ante Small Blind 100 Big Blind 200
MINIMUM BET FOR EACH ROUND IS EQUAL TO THE BIG BLIND

Starting chip count is 10 RED 10 BLUE 10 WHITE 2 GREEN ($500). Clock will be strictly enforced. Pots will be bigger but so is the starting total number of chips. We've been playing for a long time basically the same way. Now we're going to bump it up a bit and play more like the professionals. This should also eliminate the need for split winners and should get us out of the game no later than 11 or 11:30, even with the increased starting chips.

So, welcome to the big leagues, let's shuffle up and deal some real poker!

For a sneak peek at the new TNP Phase 2, go here: http://tnpphase2.blogspot.com/

Report from the Thursday, September 18, 2008 game

Lots to eat. Nick brought Chicken Express, Adam & Bobby a huge chocolate chiffon cake, Chris fortune cookies, Mark & Justin chopped bbq brisket from Henks, Crystal cookies, Deb ice cream and I had left over Bobby stew.

As for the game, let's see, who was out first? Oh yeah, Justin.

Next to exit was me! It's a conspiracy I tell ya!

Nick was next, improving over his performance of the past 2 weeks.

Crystal soon followed.

Chris' fortune cookies couldn't predict a win for him so he bowed out.

Some guy trying to impersonate Mark was next to leave. His "Christian" alter ego lasted about 40 minutes. I think Bobby wasn't too scared once the REAL Mark decided to show up. I'm still worried about Brandon though.

Making his TNP debut and meeting Mark for the first time, Bobby did a great job (with a little help from Adam) and survived his first encounter with Mark.

Came down to Deb & Adam. With the special announcement having been decided, Deb was gracious and bowed out. Adam had to get Bobby back to his house.

So Adam won! Here's the scoring breakdown.

9. Justin 1
8. Jeff 2
7. Nick 3
6. Crystal 4
5. Chris 5
4. Mark aka the Reverend Peachtreehigginbottom 6
3. Bobby 7
2. Deb 9
1. Adam 12 (including 1 for Deb's bounty)

Remember, starting time is 7pm so we'll see you Thursday and until then, may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!

TNP Phase 2

Special Announcement coming soon!

It's gonna be a hoot!

To say I'm looking forward to tomorrow night's TNP, for reasons other than food and poker, would be an understatement. Remember, 7pm start time. We'll eat whatever we bring then play some hold'em!

Guess who's coming to dinner....

About what food to bring Thursday night, I know we said Chinese, and feel free to bring any kind of oriental food, but because I've got so much Bobby stew left, that's what I'm providing. So I guess we can call it pot luck again. If it's edible, bring it and we'll edible it!

The winds of change

Ok, the movie format is getting old. At least for me. It was fun for a while but it's becoming increasingly difficult to find movies to match the personalites and conditions of the game plus it takes longer. I may return to this later on, or move on to TV, but for the forseeable future I'm returning to a regular narrative.

Let's see, everyone arrived around 8ish. Adam, Mark, Justin & myself having just come from the Chamber BBQ and filling our guts to the limit.

Nick was out first but this was mostly due to the fact that he was working on grading papers. His attention was definitely somewhere else. Mostly on school but also on Brandon. Nick, like last week, added 1 point.

Mark, after doing so well last week, was out next. Deb took him out and captured his bounty point. And of course Justin was out next because Mark was out, tired and ready to go home.

Chris was next to exit, followed by Crystal. She, however, earned an extra point for quads. She announced her achievment by simply tossing out her 4th 6 and saying "I'll take an extra point". She & Adam were aggravating each other all night.

Adam made the final 3 by taking a large chunk of Deb's chips which she wound up taking back.

The heads up came down to Deb & myself. I started the final 3 doing really well, getting some decent hands while Deb & Adam were being dealt squadush. But the tables started to turn even before it came down to just us 2. About 5 minutes after Adam left I had Ace Queen of clubs and 2 clubs on the board. The blinds were up to 2 & 4 hundred and I was running out of chips fast. There was a straight waiting to be made and Deb put me all in. I gambled and lost.

So Deb earned an extra point from Mark and 1 for her quad jacks, I think it was jacks. I'll check the log book when I get home and correct it if necessary.

I'm honestly looking forward to the first of the year when we can wipe the slate clean and start everyone at square 1. It's more fun when you have several people vying for the top spot instead of just 2. Here's the breakdown.

8. Nick 1
7. Mark 2
6. Justin 3
5. Chris 4
4. Crystal 6 (including 1 bonus for quad 6s)
3. Adam 6
2. Jeff 8
1. Deb 13 (including 1 bonus for quad jacks & 1 bonus for Mark's bounty & 1 bonus for retaining her own bounty point)

Deb seems unstoppable and with the final quarter of the year fast approaching I'm going to have to make a move soon if I want a chance. Remember, next week we start at 7 and we'll do our monthy meal next week, oriental food. Rice, noodles, pork, chicken, beef, EGG ROLLS, whatever you want to bring. See you then and till next time, may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!

BULLETIN!

ATTENTION:

THE THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2008 EDITION OF THE ADMIRAL'S POKER CHALLENGE, THURSDAY NIGHT POKER, WILL BEGIN AT 8:00PM DUE TO THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE BAR-B-QUE. BLINDS WILL BEGIN AT $25 AND $50 IN ORDER TO EXPEDITE PLAY.

END OF BULLETIN

Carnac the Magnificent

We're not Carnac, but we're pretty good.

McCain/Obama, tied. We'll find out the first Tuesday in November.

Adam did indeed pull ahead of Nick.

Crystal did indeed pull ahead of Jake.

Even though the Mark's were tied in the survey, only one came out the winner, the other was absent.

FYI

We will start at our regular time this Thursday, 7:30. That's the night of the Chamber BBQ which several of us are attending. However, we will begin at 7PM sharp on Thursday, September 18th. We will also strictly enforce the blinds clock in order to have the game done at or before 11PM. Let's also shoot for a meal on the 18th to help Markus celebrate his birthday which is actually this Thursday, the 11th, on the night of the bbq.

The Chronicles of Narnia

Having grown weary of having her authority challenged, the Ice Queen decided to once and for all deal with the creatures that would take her throne. Summoning all the power her witchcraft could conjur, she began first with the weakest.


Flicking the faun, Mr. Tumnus (nick), like a fly, the Queen barely noticed his feeble attempts at dethroning her. Mr. Tumnus was sent scurrying with 1 point.






Next to fall was Oreius (chris), who dared only 2 short weeks ago to attempt a coup against the queen. He & Mr. Tumnus were pawns in the clutches of the queen. This night they were removed first. Oreius with 2 points.


Susan (crystal), fighting valiantly, had her quiver run empty and was discarded with 4 points, one arrow in particular doing damage but failing to deliver a death blow.








The only nemesis of the queen able to mount a serious threat to her throne was banished next. Even the goodness of Father Christmas (jeff) was no match for the wicked queen, as his 4 points can attest to.


Remarkably, the brave Prince (adam) was no match for the powers of the queen. His sword was able to draw blood once, doing much damage, but it proved only to enrage her. His 6 points recapturing for himself the lead over Mr. Tumnus.






Even Aslan the Lion (mark), who seemed on the verge of vanquishing the queen, finally settled for an armistice. After fighting gloriously and defeating many of the queens minions, Aslan grew exhausted and finally accepted the truce offered by the queen.




Even settling for a cessation was a victory for the queen. Two of her spells had done particular damage to her enemies, proving she had to use all the guile she posessed to escape with her life. She yet prevails and retains her throne, her grip on power becoming ever tighter.

The battle over, the war continues. Will the evil queen ever be defeated? Is there not a champion among us brave and powerful enough to unseat her? Is our destiny sealed, ever fighting, ever losing? Time alone will tell.

By the tally:

7. Nick 1
6. Chris 2
5. Crystal 4 (including 1 bonus for quad 9s)
4. Jeff 4
3. Adam 6 (including 1 bonus for quad kings)
2. Mark 8
1. Deb 10 (including 2 bonus for quad 4s & quad 10s)

Having split the first place finish, there are 2 bounty points available this week, on Deb & Mark.

SPECIAL - Cash game at the B & B & L

Sunday night found myself, Adam, Nick, Chris, Crystal & Deb at the poker table. The $5 buy in winner take all event began around 6 as the typical gays were late! Still, it was much fun and here's how it went.

Chris was eliminated first, followed by Nick. Adam made the top 4 and I made the top 3. Came down to Crystal & Deb, the straight women once again making mincemeat of the girly men. Deb made 1 offer to end the game & split the pot, but Crystal felt emboldened by her good hands and enormous chest. But, as luck would have it, her cards grew cold and the hour grew late. So, making a second and final offer, they decided to split the pot. Much fun was had by all. I think we need to do more cash games. What do you think?

Proposed Procedures Changes

Here's something to consider. With fall coming and with school starting, how would you feel about starting at 7PM instead of 7:30? And what about the following blind/ante schedule?

Level _Ante __ Small Blind __ Big Blind
1_____0______$10_____________$20
2_____0______$25_____________$50
3_____0______$25_____________$50
4_____0______$50_____________$75
5_____0______$75____________$100
6____$25_____$75____________$150
7____$50____$100____________$200
8___$100____$150____________$300
9___$100____$200____________$400
10__$200____$300____________$600

After the first 5 players are eliminated, we'll institute an ante which will insure everyone is in the pot even if they should fold out if not in the blinds. This will help eliminate limpers from waiting for better cards for free and help move the game along at a faster pace. Also, we can STRICTLY enforce the 30 minute blind raises. This is all in an effort to see to it that the game is finished by around 11PM.

Tuning up the crystal ball

Well, it's been a couple of weeks, but let's see how the polls held up.

Deb certainly did immediately retake the lead.

We missed this one. Nick did indeed pass Adam. Course, Adam wasn't there, but still.

We correctly predicted that Mark would lose his lead.

We missed this one to. By one point, Jake keeps a lead over Crystal.

Dam old people, drink Metamucil, 30's not that old!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Sweet, innocent Snow White was angry to discover one of the dwarfs had taken her chair while she was away. In order to correct this, she gathered the dwarfs and the evil queen and calmly explained to them that this was her chair, and that no one, and I mean NO ONE was allowed to sit in it. So, to teach them all a lesson, she began to eliminate them one by one.

The first to go was Grumpy (mark). He started out so well, but Snow White had a flush he didn't see and it cost him dearly. Grumpy finished playing, however, and earned 1 point.

Soon to follow Grumpy was Doc (jeff). He was the last person to sit in Snow White's chair and was the one Snow White wanted to see go away soonest. Doc could only squeeze 2 points out of the game they were playing.


For the second time, Happy (justin) put out Doc with a full house! Doc was none too pleased with Happy, and has a few surprises in store for him. Happy left with Grumpy and 3 points.


Barely able to keep his eyes open, Sleepy (jake) just couldn't get any decent cards. He ended the game with 4 points and took a nap.


Although she played well, the Evil Queen (crystal) kept putting her chips in Sneezy's tray. This along with her obsession with revenge against Snow White and all the dwarfs kept the Queen from winning this night. She ate an apple and left with 5 points.



Dopey (markus) was playing really well. His game has improved, but alas, he began to follow Sleepy's lead and grew tired. Still, his 6 points will improve his standings.


Bashful (chris) became bold when he joined the final table and came from near elimination to near victory. He amassed a huge amount of chips, much to the chagrin of Sneezy, but soon began to lose them. And so Bashful ended his comeback with 6 points.


When it finally came down to heads up, Sneezy (nick) was a very happy camper. He had eliminated Bashful and earned an extra point for the bounty. As soon as he had accomplished this, he withdrew from the contest and allowed Snow White to win without further struggle. Sneezy added 10 points to go ahead of Prince Charming (adam) who was off riding his horse (or a football player).



Snow White (deb) easily won the night. Even though she struggled a bit at first, she played with Sneezy and Bashful as a cat would with two little mice. Her aggressive play had her opponents folding good hands while she held little more than crap. Still, that's what experience does for you. With the dwarfs and evil queen now thoroughly beaten and ashamed, she took back the chair that she's become so accustomed to and chided the little men to not mess with her shit again!




The story by the numbers.

9. Mark 1
8. Jeff 2
7. Justin 3
6. Jake 4
5. Crystal 5
4. Markus 6
3. Chris 7
2. Nick 10 (including Chris' bounty point)
1. Deb 11

And they all lived happily ever after together! YEAH RIGHT!

Let's try this again

Ok, with last week's game voided, let's try this again. Everyone absent last week caught a break. Adam will be missing tonight as he works close to 21 hours straight today. So, Nick has a chance to catch him and Crystal should improve her standings against Jake & Nick. Mark will be there tonight as well, building as many points as he can before he takes on a new task for Wal-Mart. See you all tonight!

I think I'll...

Just wait for this week to see how the polls hold up, since last week's was declared null & void.

NULL AND VOID

Due to irregularities, the Thursday, August 21, 2008 edition of The Admiral's Poker Challenge, Thursday Night Poker, has been deemed null and void. No points awarded, no sanctions imposed.

Pot Luck!

Ok, let's eat! This time, just bring something to eat. No planned menu, this is pot luck. Bring enough for yourself and about 5 or 6 more. We'll eat whatever is there. Start to eat at about 7 with poker thereafter. Desserts, meat, veggies, breads, doesn't matter. We'll eat it.

Thinking out loud

Crystal, Chris, & Markus, remind me Thursday night to take your pictures for the blog. And I was thinking, if anyone would like to write the recap after a Thursday night, just let me know. Mark has written one and so has Adam. And as you may have noticed, I revised the "Shrek" recap. Justin had a better idea, casting himself as Princess Fiona. I liked it and I thought everyone fit their character rather nicely, Nick & Mark in particular. I think we should all start calling Nick Lord Farquaad!

Shrek

Once upon a time there was a mean, vile ogre that lived in the deep forrest. Occasionally, the ogre, called Shrek, would venture into the village and partake in a card game known as poker. Many of the villagers and woodland creatures were frightened of Shrek and with good cause. He had a reputation of being fierce, quick to anger and ferocious. And it was his temper that would cost him his last game of poker. But let me start this fairy tale where all tales should start, at the beginning.



The first to leave our tale is Princess Fiona, faithful wife to Shrek. Poor Fiona, try as she might she can never seem to win when it comes to poker. Fiona (justin) could only take home 1 point. But it was starting to get dark & she had to hurry home before she transformed! If I could, I'd award her 1000 bonus points for living with Shrek!






Next to be cast out from the humble home where the game was being played was Prince Charming. Never winning a single hand, poor prince couldn't even count on his fairy god mother to help him. Prince Charming (adam) could only take 2 points.




In fact, it was his mother who had to leave the game next. To say she was not happy would be like saying Katrina was just a cloudy day in New Orleans. Poor fairy godmother (crystal), despite her magic and her humongous boobs, she could only win 3 points.






Ahh, Donkey. Faithful helper to Shrek. Shrek helped Donkey, and himself, do very well. Donkey (sharon) had to leave early, however, and scurried back into the forrest with 4 points.








Finally regaining his throne, Fiona's father, the King (jeff) won enough points to reclaim the top spot with his 5 points. But will it be enough to hold off the queen when she returns home next week?




Hoping to increase his lead over the peasantry, Lord Farquaad (nick) wants nothing more than to squash his opponents and break them in two! His 6 points will pull him to within striking distance of Prince Charming.


We finally reach the end of our story and discover the moral. You see, Shrek had a huge chip lead over Puss-n-boots, but because Shrek (mark) is an impatient ogre, he allowed the patient, quiet cat to outlast him even though Shrek should and could have won the night. Boxing his chips and stomping off in a rage, he still took the bounty on the King's head and muscled 9 points out of everyone.


Lest you feel sorry for Puss in boots (chris), don't! He's very capable of taking care of himself. His quiet, shy demeanor hides a clever, cunning adversary who must be respected. And now, the bounty is on the puss!

And so ends our tale of ogres, kings, princes, faries and lords. Return next week for another story sure to fill your mind with visions of gallantry, chivallry, adventure and love.


8. Justin 1
7. Adam 2
6. Crystal 3
5. Sharon 4
4. Jeff 5
3. Nick 6
2. Mark 9 (including 1 bounty point from Jeff)
1. Chris 10

Missing polls, missing players

Mark, Justin & Crystal were asking last night where the polls were. Polls for this week would have been futile. Nick will be absent due to work, Markus & Jake will be missing due to a trip to Colorado and Deb is AWOL because of her trip. Figures, I get a chance to finally unseat Deb and what happens? Everyone bugs out! Still, I need everyone's help. I need to win tonight and I need a lot of points. So if you could do 2 things. #1, bring any and everyone to poker. Preferably people who don't reek, can control their bowel movements, can at least hold 2 cards in their hands and know absolutely nothing about poker. #2, of course, LET ME WIN! That is all.

Tallying the polls

By 1 vote, Nick was picked to take the lead in the middle of the pack. And by 1 point, he did.

Sorry Crystal, but the vote was overwhelming. We won't touch, but we'll look and discuss.

This one was a complete upset. Markus has taken the lead in the rear of the pack.

Deb did indeed maintain the lead, but this week could finally see her unseated.

Mark & Justin, dam gays!

Back to the Future

Dr. Emmett Brown's personal diary
Thursday, August 8, 2142

I must assume that if you're reading this, then my mission was a success and the space/time continuum has been restored. It all began way back in August of 2007. I was trying to show my young friend, Markus McFly how to play poker. Back then, Markus was known to imbibe too much during play making him an easy target. In order to help him improve his poker skills, and to help him win the affections of Jake, I invented a time machine and sent myself back in time to tell my young friend about his future and to encourage him to give up the bottle. When I arrived in the past, I let myself lose on that particular night and in so doing began a chain of events that would have cataclysmic consequences, not only for McFly but for the universe!

Yesterday, after repairing the flux capacitor in my 1998 Cadillac De Ville d'Ellegance, I was off to the past. I was able to pinpoint the exact moment when the space/time continuum began to waver from it's established norm and had to return to August 2008 after going back to 2007 on the same night to undo what I had done so I could go back to the future in 2008 and redo what I had done! I hope it's as obvious to you as it is to me, as you may have need of this expertise some day.

The key was repeating what I had originally done in 2007, only this time I had to keep Markus sober. Plus, I had to eliminate all others at the table so that it could be just McFly & I in the heads up.

So, in order to achieve this goal, Jake had to be the first one out. He was at my table and his dismissal was quick & painless, his 1 point a small price to pay for the continued survival of the universe.

Next to be removed from competition was Justin. In order to keep equilibrium, I had to keep the competion close for the middle of the pack. Justin's 2 points assured that.

While Nick wasn't part of the equation from 2007, he was an uncontrollable variable in my experiment and despite his efforts to stay in longer than he should, he was nevertheless removed with 3 points.

Biff Mulanax! Long time bulley and a mean little cuss, I knew there was a soft, tender side to Biff and it was proven when he brought sweet treats for all to enjoy. Biff was allotted 4 points and if I could, I'd have given him 100 bonus points for the dessert!

Deb McFly, matriarch of the McFlys, wasn't feeling well. Still, her steely determination earned for her 5 points.

Adam, reporter and critic at large for the local press, must have been called away for breaking news. I think the news was Nick is drinking, which isn't news but he could have been breaking something. Adam boxed his chips and left with 6 points.

Chris, local banker, was his usual, quiet self. He took out Deb and earned an extra point to add to the 7 he earned making a total of 8.


With the others taken care of, it was me & McFly. As the hour approached midnight, flashes started to brighten the gathering dark clouds. I was running out of time! I had the Caddy secured to the light pole in the front yard, waiting for lightning to strike once again. McFly had played sporadically, just ask Adam. But when it came to heads up, his focus sharpened and his play became consistant. He could smell victory in the air. But in order to set the universe back on course, I had to win again as I did a year ago. So, pushing hard pre flop, going all in several times and risking it all, I finally turned the tide and reversed his early and long lasting peak. As the clock struck 12, even after earning 2 bonus points for a straight flush, Markus McFly finally ran out of luck. Sober and feeling a great sense of accomplishment, McFly ended his run with 11 points.

I had just enough time to get to the Caddy, initiate the flux capacitor and with only seconds to spare, lightning struck the pole, transferring it's 1200 gigawatts of energy to the flux generator and whoosh, I was back in the future! I barely escaped with 11 points, but now that the time line has been restored, I can rest. Wait, I can't! I have to prepare for another trip to the past, so I can see who wins next week, so I can go BACK TO THE FUTURE!

9. Jake 1
8. Justin 2
7. Nick 3
6. Mark 4
5. Deb 5
4. Adam 6
3. Chris 8 (including 1 bonus point for Deb's bounty)
2. Markus 11 (including 2 bonus points for a straight flush)
1. Jeff 11

This is Dr. Emmett Brown, wishing you all nothing but happy tomorrows as you journey into the future!

Shall we gather at the river.....

Well, unless it starts raining soon, Doppler Dave has missed another one. But, whether it's water or dust swirling down the street, it's time once again to gather at the B & B for this weeks edition of the Admiral's Poker Challenge. Deb has the bounty point hanging above her head alone this week, so bring your best poker face and let's suffle up and deal!

Death Becomes Her

The foolish men, thinking they were superior, were only fooling themselves. More queer than a 3 dollar bill each and every one, they would soon discover they were nothing more than fodder for the battle about to ensue. A warm up for the main act that would determine the queen of TNP, if for but only 1 week. For the women who would soon find themselves locked in an epic battle for superiority would use any tactic, resort to any measure to insure the complete and total destruction of the other. Now, let us dispense with the girly men so we can witness the battle of the boobs!

Chris, the first girly man to be easily thrown aside and after such a good showing last week, his 1 point a testament to his lack of power against the boobs.

Mark, arriving late from work, was shown litte respect even though it was his birthday. He said he had to go home early for work the next day, so at least he had a plausible excuse. Here's your 2 points, happy birthday mother fracker!

Nick, coming off a decent week, could ill afford to go out as soon as he did, his struggle with Jake neck & neck. But the boobs had little concern for this petty rivalry and sent the fudge packer away with only 3 points.

Markus, bringing a nice, green salad mix, trying to appease the boobs, was next to be dispensed with. His offering was found unworthy and was awarded only 4 points.

Jake, pitcher or catcher of Markus, the boobs aren't sure, was next to fall to the power of the vagina. Struggling most of the night, he was lucky to garner 5 points.

Adam, resorting to any measure to move up in the standings, offered to pleasure the boobs but was found lacking and was quickly dismissed with 6 points.

Jeff, oh so close to the top boobs, was defeated by the closest thing to boobs without a vagina when his trip 2s were scoffed at by Justin's trip Aces. I took 7 points.

Anthony, flittering and dancing as if he had boobs, is an infrequent visitor and confounded the boobs at first. But soon even this extra girly man was disposed of with his 8 points.

Justin, the only gay left before the boobs, drew from the training he received at the hands of Mark on their own kitchen table, and was able to provide the best showing of all the homos. But even Justin, colored hair and often nails, Elvira impersonator, hair dresser, the epitome of the gay stereotype, could not outlast the boobs. Still, in what I believe is his best showing to date at TNP, was able to scratch out 10 points including my bounty point.


Finally, the stage was set. The only females to frequent TNP & the only straight people to grace us with their presence, would now take off the gloves and show us just how a good cat fight can arouse any straight man alive. Too bad for Crystal she doesn't hang out with any!

All was cordial as the heads up began. Having discarded the girly men with little effort, each had the strength and stamina required to determine just who had the boobs with the most potency. It's a well known fact that Crystal has the biggest, bar none. But Deb has experience and a husband, so hers get a work out from time to time.

The hour was late when the match began. Each had sized up the other, and the chips each possessed were immense. Blinds began at 2 hundred, then 3, 4, 6, 8 and finally 1 thousand, being raised every 10 minutes or so. About mid way into this classic battle, Deb announced all in before a card hit the table. Crystal had established a huge lead, the hour was late and it appeared size would win out over experience. But, as fate would have it, Deb tripped up on jacks and crippled Crystal. The end was not yet, however, and it was 1AM before Crystal, anger and exhaustion taking its toll, finally succumed to the reigning queen of TNP. Still, her 11 points brought her to within 3 of Nick. Quite an accomplishment given her many absences and slip in the standings.

Deb, leader for weeks now, has once again proven age and expierence can and often do pay off. Trying to rebuild her lead over me and preparing for an absence of her own, she left the battle triumphant with 14 points including the bonus she retained for herself.

Here's the breakdown.
11. Chris 1
10. Mark 2
9. Nick 3
8. Markus 4
7. Jake 5
6. Adam 6
5. Jeff 7
4. Anthony 8
3. Justin 10 (including my bounty point from last week)
2. Crystal 11
1. Deb 14 (including 1 bonus point for retaining her own)

The power of the vagina, having proved their superiority, will be back next week to defend their reputations and their gender. Is there a fag amongst us that can reclaim pride for our kind? Is there a limp wrist stong enough to hold a winning hand? Will the power of the penis hang it's head in shame again as the boobs break our backs once more? Return here next week and witness yet again the battle of the sexes!

Mark's 27th, 28th or 29th birthday!

You decide! I think it's 28, but it could be 29. Anyway, Thursday night I'm cooking spaghetti. Mark is making his own birthday cake. So I need people to bring salad, garlic bread and drinks. I know we've already had our July meal but since it is the last day of the month and it's Mark's burfday, this will do. Happy 29th Mark!

Deb & Crystal are bringing garlic bread!
Adam drinks
Markus Salad
Mark & Justin dessert

On Golden Pond

It was a quiet night, the small gathering somewhat subdued. But the early calmness would soon see one large, then one huge ripple upset the glass smooth serenity of the golden pond.

One of the first to arrive, and the first to leave the table of 7, was son Jake. His 1 point a testament to his ill fated luck for this night

Soon to follow and late to the table, Jake's other half Markus, weary from that day's travels, took home 2 points.

Sister Crystal, hoping to capitilize on the absence of so many, could only earn 3 points.

The first ripple to upset the pond came when Nick threw out his 2 that happened to match 3 more of them on the table. For his efforts, Nick earned 5 points including his bonus for quads. His clairvoyance proved uncanny, but if it was so good, how come he didnt' win? I think he'll be sending back those Miss Cleo video tapes.

Chris had to earn his 5 points the hard way, without bonus points, but played well in the final 3.


What happened next hasn't happened in a long, long time. Back when the family was smaller and the kids less talented, me and your grandma used to play heads up more often than a nickel fell in the nickelodian when a new Gretta Garbo flick hit the five & dime. Our heads up play was highlighted by my royal flush. There were at least 2 times when, had I called her, I could have won. But the hour grew late, Nick's dealing, excellent throughout the heads up, was getting tired, and I finally took Deb up on her offer to end the game, share the top spot and go home some time after 1. Besides, my Geritol was starting to kick in and I wanted to beat her to the bathroom to change my depends.



7. Jake 1
6. Markus 2
5. Crystal 3
4. Nick 5 (including 1 bonus point for quad 2s)
3. Chris 5
1. Deb 8
1. Jeff 11 (including 3 bonus points for spade royal flush)

Poll results fresh from the telegraph

Sure enough, Deb kept her first place standing.

We missed this one, Jake's ahead of Nick again.

Yep, we threw salt water at Crystal and her bazookas rose so far she couldn't see.

Missed this one, Mark leads this trio.

100% vote and we got it right, Stevie & Tanner were back.

Nick got the most votes for taking the bounty point, but Crystal actually took it.

See y'all next week!

High Plains Drifter

The sun was just starting to sink into the western horizon, its heat lingering as it did. Only a whisper of wind offering any relief. The usual crowd had gathered, a mixture of shady characters, upstanding citizens and some just dam queer folk. Then the wind picked up, dust stirring, obscuring the stranger just riding into town. A drifter, his quiet, calm demeanor belying the havoc he was about to unleash. Still, there was something familiar about this stanger sitting atop that black horse, someone I've seen before.

Chips on the table, the cards started to fly. The first victim to fall was Nick, a local favorite from south of the border. Hopes were high for this Mexican and his little dog after last week, but Escoto's luck ran out and he left the saloon with only 1 point.

Chris, still a newcomer but becoming more familiar with the townsfolk and our ways, soon followed Nick. He to had a good showing last week, but when the locals figured him out it was only a matter of time. His 2 points can testify to that.

Miss Deb, however, was expecting to do a little better than she did. She's still the town's leading citizen and has been for weeks. But she's finally starting show signs of vulnerability and had to settle for 3 points this week.

One of the young guns, Tanner, has had a long run of bad luck here lately. But last night it wasn't the cards that did him in, it was time. He had places to be and left the table early with 4 points.

Jake was out next, barely hanging on for quite a while, had his luck and his chips finally run out and he left the saloon with 5 points.

Justin, the towns new beauty parlor operator, started out good but got clipped and had to take 6 points along with his score of 93 for his state exam.

I had high hopes of catching Miss Deb after her early exit, but I had a price on my head and Maw Crystal drew down on me. I had to give up, can't have the town's only justice of the peace in a gun fight. Still, my 7 points got me closer to Miss Deb than I've been in a long time.

The towns new schoolmarm, Markus, did pretty good and took 8 points for his efforts.

The town doctor, Stevie, another Mexican, well half anyway, showed up late but made a good showing. His 9 points will keep some distance between him and Tanner.

The meanest sidewinder this side of the Mississippi, Mark, was gunning for anyone who got in his way. A hired gunslinger of the Walton gang, Mark was doin dam good when it came down to 3. But his luck and his chips ran out when the blinds hit $400. Still, his 10 points puts him back on top of Justin, someplace I'm sure Justin wished he's spend more time.

And so the stage was set. It was way after dark and these two were out of time, patience and soon 1 would be out of chips. Maw Crystal, the biggest guns in the west, was out for blood. Her long absence had cost here dearly in points and standing in the town, and now she was back and wanted revenge. So far she had taken out anyone who stood in her way, including me and my bounty point, and there was only 1 person left to dispose of. But try as she might, the drifter had accumulated too many white chips and his luck ran straight and true all night. Maw Crystal, madder than a wet hen, finally lost her last hand but still had a good showing for the night. Her 13 points puts her within striking distance of her old nemesis, Nick.

When the smoke cleared and the dust settled, the quiet stranger finally stood and then it struck me. I knew this fella, it was none other than Art! He hasn't been seen in these parts for months. One of the last TNP games he was at he nearly started a brawl when he spit beer in Stevie's face! And that's when it struck me. He was sober! That had to be the secret to his success. So Art, making his 2008 debut at TNP, walked away with all the chips, 14 points and the enmity of Maw Crystal.


Here's the census.

12. Nick 1
11. Chris 2
10. Deb 3
9. Tanner 4
8. Jake 5
7. Justin 6
6. Jeff 7
5. Markus 8
4. Stevie 9
3. Mark 10
2. Crystal 13 (including 1 bounty point)
1. Art 14

The chips are put up for another week, the holsters back on the hips of some, bonnets and parasols on others. I'll be on my way back from Branson next week, but hopefully I'll be back in time to continue my pursuit of Miss Deb. Mark & Justin have keys so they'll have the Admiral's Saloon open and ready. Maw Crystal will be gunning for the drifter and anyone else who gets in her way, so clean your gun and make sure you have plenty of bullets. Till then, may all your cards be live and your pots monsters!

Poll results

Well, Stevie was moving last week, so second place remained as it was.

Jake did not keep his bounty point, that's 2 we got right so far.

Nick did take the lead over Jake, 3 right.

Crystal did show up. 4 right

I won the bounty point, but Nick & Crystal had as many votes, so that 4 1/3 right.

Dam gays!

The Ten Commandments

And the Poker God spake unto Moses saying, "Thou shalt surely go up unto Mount Vegas and receive my commandements for my people at TNP". And Moses hearkened unto the voice of the Lord and sojourned into Mount Vegas and received from the Lord 10 commandments for his people at TNP.

When Moses returned, he found the people had fallen into sin. Men were lying with women, they hearkened unto music other than from Madonna and Cher, they no longer paid homage unto the Lord and were rebellious.

Thus Moses spake unto the people at TNP:

The Poker God has sent me to speak unto thee thusly, hearken now to the words of the Lord and obey his commandments.

The Tenth Commandment: Thou shalt not play poker when thou art sick. Therefore, Mark of Aramathina, thou art given 1 point and thou shalt see a doctor immediately for thy penance. Thou art also commanded by the lord to be kind unto thy bondservant.

The Ninth Commandment: Thou shalt not play poker when thy master has left the game. Therefore, Justin of Samaria, thou art given 2 points and shalt live with thy master until thy days are done for thy penance.

The Eighth Commandment: Thou shalt not have faith in thy full house. Therefore, Adam of Athens, thou art given 3 points and shalt date only beautiful losers for they penance.

The Seventh Commandment: Thou shalt not use thy bosom as a weapon, nor shalt thou let thy burger leave thy bun. Therefore, Crystal of Cyrene, thou shalt not lie with thy best friend Chad in peace, for he shall snore continuously and deny thee sleep, and thy dog shall cause thee trouble forever. Thus is your penance. Thou art given 4 points.

The Sixth Commandment: Thou shalt bring pecan pies to each TNP. Therefore, Jake of Jordan, since thou hast denied my servant Moses pecan pies for lo these many weeks, thou art awarded only 5 points and thy bounty shall be given unto him. Thus is your penance. However, my wrath against thee has been stayed for thy offering of 2 pecan pies last week.

The Fifth Commandment: Thou shalt not misread thy hand, nor shalt thou mis-call thy hand, nor shalt thou dig in the card stack to find they hand, thus sayeth the Lord. Therefore, Deb, Queen of Persia, thou art given 6 points and must live amongst the gays all the days of thy life for penance.

The Fourth Commandment: Thou shalt not hold thy tongue but shalt utter sounds unspeakable as Adam, Nick & Mark hast shown thee. Therefore, Chris of Chaldea, thou art awarded 7 points and must always and forever worry for thy kinsman Geoffrey as penance. I will stay my hand and not smite thee, however, for thy hand of quad 2s. Receive from your loving and gracious god a bonus point.

The Third Commandment: Thou shalt not act lewd or lascivious at mine alter, the green table, thus sayeth the Lord. Therefore, Markus of Gomorrah, for thy penance thou shalt cleave unto Jake of Jordan only in thine house and not my house, thus sayeth the Lord. Seeing that your heart is pure, however, I shall award thee 8 points.

The Second Commandment: Thou shalt not show the player to the right of thee nor to the left of thee thy hand, nor shalt thou fold a diamond flush, nor shalt thou shout aooga at mine alter sayeth the lord of poker. Therefore, Nicholas, Pharaoh of all of Egypt, for thy excellent play thou art awarded 10 points but denied victory. For thy penance, thou shalt be cursed with queen two hole cards, thus sayeth the Lord.

The First Commandment: Thou shalt not cut the locks from thy head, nor shalt thou lust after errolls, remember Thursday night and keep it holy, keep my shrine clean and free from as many heteros as possible, thus commandeth the lord of TNP. Therefore, my good and faithful servant Moses, I shall award thee 12 points for winning, 1 point for the bounty on Jake and 1 point for quad 4s. Receive unto thyself 14 points, and the favor of thy lord.

Thus are the ten commandments my people shall keep for Thursday Night Poker.

Then the lord spake unto me, "Say unto my servants Stevie of Sodom and Tanner of Thessalonica, thou art not excused from weekly attendance of my game, therefore thou art denied points and for thy penance must co-habitate together until I shall call thee home, thus sayeth the lord.

When the laws were read, two prophets appeared, one being Wesley of Patmos and the other Luke of Ephasus. And the lord spoke unto Luke and said thusly, "Luke, I am your father!" Then they were caught up and whisked into a canyon.

As he lay his head to sleep, Moses wrote thusly:

10. Mark 1
9. Justin 2
8. Adam 3
7. Crystal 4
6. Jake 5
5. Deb 6
4. Chris 8 (including 1 bonus point for quad 2s)
3. Markus 8
2. Nick 10
1. Jeff 14 (including 1 bounty and 1 for quad 4s)

Forget not the holy day of Thursday, for thou shalt play TNP in the house of Moses.


The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Your humble and feeble servant Moses committed a grievous error. I mistakenly awarded Chris' bonus point to Jake. Chris was quick to alert me to the error of my ways, I have repented and corrected the sacred spreadsheet. My apologies.

How'd we do?

Well, everyone likes the polls, so they will continue.

I didn't offer a 4th place choice, but 3rd was the most voted for so we'll give this one a check mark.

Stevie's within 11 of me now, and while NEVER garnered the most points, I fear it will be soon.

Nick not only has Adam to contend with now, but Jake as well.

Crystal needs to get her bra fixed!

Justin retook a lead over Mark, so we missed this one.

Dam gays!

The Patriot

Grab a tankard of ale, sit back and let me regale you with a tale of heroism, valor, honor, despotism and epic battles as I recount the war for TNP independence!

It all began when the newly crowned Lord Adam of Coxley had a price put on his head. His newly acquired lordship would soon be put to the test. Rival lords, dukes, peasants and even the queen herself, Queen Deb of England, could barely keep their powder dry as they foamed from the mouth in eager anticipation of the war about to be waged.

The first to suffer defeat was the peasant Nicholas, a Russian immigrant to England, who's come oh so close in the past to gaining a lordship, but last night the dogs of war were merciless in their attack and left him bruised and bleeding as he limped from the contest with 1 point.

The second victim to fall by the sword was another peasant, Markus of Sheffield. His return to the battlefield was short lived and he was sent packing back to the bed of Lord Jake with 2 points.

Lord Jeffrey, former king of England, was disposed of with little fanfare. This broken hearted, poor excuse of a former monarch was never even a threat and he tucked tail and ran with 3 points.

Another lord and former monarch, Lord Tanner of Kensington soon followed Lord Jeffrey. Lord Tanner has been dealing with upheavals in his homeland and has yet to regain the former glory he relished in the first quarter of the year. He won 4 points.

Justin, slave of Lord Mark of Canterberry, was next to leave the war ravaged field with 5 points. His reluctance to participate in side pots cost him chips, but overall his galantry on the field was impressive and he'll retake a lead over his master, Lord Mark.

A new peasant, Christophe, a French immigrant, made quite an impressive showing for his first TNP. His shy tone and quiet persona paid off as the lords and peasants he played with knew little of him and were cautious about any frontal attacks. Christophe earned 6 points for his first outing. Viva la France!

Hoping to regain some dignity from last weeks trouncing, the queen herself, Queen Deb of England, current reigning monarch, didn't let her generals fight this week. No, she came off her throne and lead the charge herself. Still, her valiant efforts were not enough and she ended the battle with 7 points, her reign remains firmly in her grasp, however, for the foreseeable future.

Weary from work and grappling with banks, real estate agents and title companies, Lord Stevie of York fought with distinction, but fell nevertheless yet won 8 points for his countrymen.

Once the rabble had been removed from the field, the main fight was ready to begin. Coming into tonight's game, Lord Adam of Coxley was very confident as to his chances. Even the survivors who had gathered to watch the ensuing contest were rather lopsided in their assessment of who the eventual winner would be. However, someone forgot to tell Lord Jake of Shrapshire that he was supposed to lose! And so, after the smoke had cleared, the injured and dead removed from the field of battle, the guns stacked and the cannons cooled, Lord Jake stood victorious. Unable to retain his bounty point, Lord Adam retreated from the battle with 10 points.

Standing tall amongst the rubble, Lord Jake gathered the flags of the fallen, drank a toast to their efforts, took his wench Markus and celebrated with the vanquished, lifting a tankard to victory, honor, tradition and 13 points!

And so ends my tale of war. But worry not, those defeated this week will be seeking revenge, he who won now has a price on his head, those so far denied the throne will do whatever to have it, and those who once sat on high looking down want nothing more than to do so again. All hail Britannia! Long live the queen!



Let the scribes record:

10. Nick 1
9. Markus 2
8. Jeff 3
7. Tanner 4
6. Justin 5
5. Chris 6
4. Deb 7
3. Stevie 8
2. Adam 10
1. Jake 13 including 1 bounty point


Many thanks to Mark for cooking our burgers, and kudos to all who brought something to eat or drink. Everyone was complaining of how full they were following the game. It was much fun. We'll see you all next week and may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!

Yankee Doodle Dandy

As we celebrate the birth of our nation, let us gorge ourselves on the traditional fare of this holiday. We'll start eating at 6:30 with whatever food we have in order to get the game done. We're expecting a good size crowd tonight, minus Crystal who has family obligations. Remember the target on Adam's head! See you all tonight!

FYI

The results for the polls can be seen, you just have to click on show results. For some reason, it won't display after you vote as it normally does.

On the menu

Thursday, July 3, 2008.

Hot dogs (I'm making chili and have the dogs)
Mark & Justin (hamburger patties)
Adam (buns, including hot dog, hamburger and ass)
Jake (pecan pie)
Tanner (chips)
Deb (veggies for burgers, dips for chips)
Stevie (yet to be determined side dish)
Christoph (Dr. Peppers)

I'll add to this as I have communication from those yet to commit.

Vantage Point

Adam said the issue of side pots was discussed at the game hosted by Mark & Justin. I concur it is something we should start to do. Many times some low chip stack will go all in, killing someone elses ability to make some real money with a great hand. So here is the simplist explanation of a side pot I could find. And remember, the side pot is resolved first, then the main pot.

Regarding side pots:

The most important rule regarding side pots is that a player can't win more than he or she has put in from each other player in the pot.

An example: Player A moves all-in for $100. Player B also moves all-in, for $400. Player C, who has $800 in his stack, calls.

Player A can only win $100 each from the two other players, meaning that the main pot will be $300.

A side pot is then created for Player B and Player C. The remaining $300 from Player B's $400 bet will go into the side pot, and Player C will match that amount. Consequently, the side pot will be $600


Adam also brought up another idea. Bonus points, or bounty points. Award an extra point to the player who puts out the winner from the previous week's game. If the previous weeks winner wins again, then they would get a bonus point. We could also award bonus points for exceptional hands. 1 point for 4 of a kind, 2 points for a straight flush and 3 points for a royal flush. I'm still thinking about the points for specific hands, let me know what you think, but the bounty point will start this week. So watch out Adam, there is a price on your head!

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Well, he's not quite 40, in fact he just turned 23, but his TNP winners cherry has been popped and Adam's now in the victory column for the first time in '08 at Thursday Night Poker. Another shocker was Deb's early exit. The rest of us just played our parts. So let's get to the narrative.

With her husband on vacation this week, Deb seemed to be playing a little fast and loose from the get go. Now I've never known her to exit a game early for any reason, but this helped ease the blow of being first out. She earned 1 point.

Leaving the table with 2 points was Nick, who has an appointment washing dogs tomorrow. (Nick, CALL THE DOCTOR)

Finally ending a streak of bad luck, Tanner made it to 3rd place before exiting and added 3 to his total.

I had my big chance to make up some distance Deb has on me, and I started out great. I had the hand of the night, quad 8s, but it wasn't enough and I had to settle for 4 points.

The final 3 was a long, drawn out battle. Jake, on the verge of elimination several times, battled back to the bitter end. I let him back in the first time, then Stevie, and round and round it went. Jake finally succumed and took home 5 points.

The heads up came down to two old nemisis. Stevie and Adam were roughly even in chips with the blinds at 1 and 2 hundred. Stevie misread a hand and called Adam's all in. Adam took the hand with a king completing a straight and mortally wounded Stevie. The blinds just happened to double to 2 and 4 hundred on the very next hand, and Stevie put in all he had. After calling for pocket aces all night, Adam finally got his wish and ended the game. Stevie adds 7.

For the first time this year, Adam finds himself with a check in the winners column, 9 points and something positive to cuss about! It was a long time coming but I doubt it'll be the last time we see him with all the chips at the end of the night. Congrats Adam. Here is the night by the numbers.

7. Deb 1
6. Nick 2
5. Tanner 3
4. Jeff 4
3. Jake 5
2. Stevie 7
1. Adam 9

Don't forget we'll be grilling next week in celebration of July 4. NO FIRECRACKER, NO PYROTECHNICS, NO SPARKLERS, NOTHING WITH FIRE! Just hamburgers, hot dogs, baked potato salad and the trimmings. Jake has already committed to 2 pecan pies, I'm taking care of the hot dogs. The rest of you leave a comment here in the poker blog and let me know what you'll be bringing. Until next week, may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!

Family Reunion

We'll all be back together tomorrow night at the B & B. Regular schedule as TNP resumes its routine. Looking ahead, since our first TNP in July will be on the 3rd, let's cook out with burgers, dogs and all the trimmings! I'll make my chili and provide the dogs. We'll need hamburger patties, buns for dogs & burgers, lettuce, tomatos, onions & pickles. If anyone wants potato salad or baked beans, bring em. Soft drinks to. So plan now to celebrate the 4th at the B & B!

"Night of the Living Dead"

Once again coming from a near early demise, Deb, our heroic leader wins the night.
Two weeks in a row and I am excited to report that ALL of us made it to the final table. I couldn't be more thrilled. Deb, Jake, Adam, Justin, Crystal, and myself (Mark) were all in attendance working whole heartedly for the top prize of 8 points.
Peaking early was Justin and myself as we were gettin the cards. They were for sure in our favor. Now a run-down of the night:

As we were approx. 45 min in the game I knew who our first 2 players of the night would be out, Deb and Adam and I must say that I was excited to know that these 2 great players were going to be out. I mean seriously, take your pick! Heads up against Deb OR Justin? I know who I would choose!! Jake continued to maintain his own, while Justin and I continued to do rather well. Crystal on the other hand was well.....sagging (haha) in the chip count.
As the play continued, the God of Luck showed his presence and shed light on Deb, Jake, Adam, Justin and Crystal. Noticed one name was left out. As play continued the chips were mostly passed around as we did not up the blinds until near the end of the night and that would therefore prove that the remaining players were playing on little to no sleep.
Deb was the first all in of the night to come back and win her first all in. Deb must have phoned a friend in Singapore as she was coming back and lashing the competitors. Secondly Justin decided to go all in with his weak amount of chips and the God of Luck was in favor of Justin as he won his. Each player EXCEPT for myself went all in and of course they won their all ins.
Several great hands were seen as there were, 4 of a kind 7's and 4 of a kind
Kings, and 4 of a kind Queens, several full houses and several straights, (excluding Deb and Crystal)
Near the end of the night, Adam decided that he was going to stay in as long as I did and FINALLY after much praying to the God of Luck, he decided to show me some love and Adam was out. Do not let Adam tell you he was tired and had to work early the next morning. His tall-tales can't keep going on like this.
To end the night, Justin was the first out, then Adam, then Me, follwed by Crystal, Jake, and the winner of the night, Deb, who whooped ass and took names. You go girl!!!!
I just want to add that Justin and I had a great time hosting at our home and I personally look forward to playing poker, conversing, and hanging out with an awesome crowd of friends. I think you guys and gals are awesome and I am glad that we are all friends, and that we have the opportunity to be who we truly are when were together. Thank you to everyone who attended poker.

Welcome to Wal-Mart

Ok, this is going to be straight (or gayly forward) and to the point. Fun game, fast paced, Stevie had a huge chip lead and it came down to the steel nerves of Mark to take him out! He agonized over Stevie's all in call, fearful of a flush beating his strong 2 pair. But after much hand wringing and consternation ( or was it constepation) Mark called Stevie's bluff and won the night. Here's the numbers

We all made the final table since we only used 1.

8. Jake 1
7. Tanner 2
6. Nick 3
5. Justin 4
4. Jeff 5
3. Deb 6
2. Stevie 8
1. Mark 10

That's it, I'm going to bed cause I leave for San Antonio in the morning! Don't forget, TNP will be at Mark & Justin's next week. Til then, may all your cards be live and your pots be monsters!

San Antonio Rose

Deep within my heart lies a melody,
A song of old San Antone.
Where in dreams I live with a memory,
beneath the stars all alone.

Well, it was there I found beside the Alamo,
Enchangment strange as the blue up above,
For that moonlit pass that only he would know
Still hears my broken song of love.

Moon in all your slpendor, known only to my heart,
call back my rose, rose of San Antone!
Lips so sweet and tender like pedals fallin apart,
Speak once again of my love, my own broken song,
Empty words I know still live in my heart all alone,
For that moonlit pass by the Alamo
And Rose, my Rose of San Antone!

Broken song, empty words, I know, still live in my heart all alone,
For that moonlit pass by the Alamo and Rose, my Rose of San Antone
My Rose, my Rose of San Antone!

Yep, tomorrow is departure day for some of us regular poker players. Tonight's the last night for a full crowd so if you're gonna make a move you better do it tonight. Don't forget next week the game will be at Mark & Justin's house, just a block north of the B & B. So shuffle up and deal some hearts, diamonds and roses!

Presenting the poll predictions

Deb's remaining in first place, while not a certainty, was really never in doubt.

Crystal's remaing at the top of the "middle of the standings" heap was predicted, but in doubt until her flight was cancelled.

And, barring Adam's vote, the fact that he needs help was unanimous!

Tanner did not retake his lead, so we missed this one.

Adam did hold off Nick.

Dam gays!

The Sopranos

Jake, tired of having hit after hit put out on him, decided to hit back last night, and with a vengeance, that's exactly what he did! Hard! And Crytsal, originally scheduled to leave for Ft. Worth, had her plans changed by mother nature and was able to not only play but put up some serious points last night. Mark to, able to play for the first time in weeks, made his presence known. A rare appearance by Devin and a first timer to TNP, Ben, rounded out the cast of characters assembled to help Adam celebrate yet another year on the planet known as Earth. So sit back, grab some popcorn and a kevlar vest as we sort out the bodies from last night's massacre!

Trying to play hard ball with the big guns and taking an early bullet, Justin, after retrieving Crystal from the air port, was deep sixed first with 1 point.

Soon to follow Justin's early demise, trying to recapture his lead over Stevie, Tanner got caught up in the cross fire and ended the night with 2 points.

Though he didn't best Stevie last night, Tanner was helped by more errant gunfire from his table when Stevie himself was mortally wounded and left the game with 3 points, ensuring his 3rd place standing.

No mercy was shown when Ben, first timer to TNP and innocent victim in the violence that erupts every Thursday night, was taken out with 4 points.

Hoping to dampen Adam's birthday celebration by denying him points and taking a lead over him, Nick couldn't fend off the brutal attacks being waged all around him and had to duck for cover and only 5 points.

Seeing the bloodshed all around him, Devin threw up his hands and surrendered to authorities, leaving the crime scene with 6 points and his life.

Hoping to close the gap with Deb, needing as many points as I could muster, the crowd that assembled for the brawl could have brought me to within 1, but the onslaught of lead beat me back and I had to scurry away with 7.

Right on my heels, after bragging that the night would be his simply because it was his birthday and he was due, Adam survived long enough to garner 8 points and a lease on another year of life.

Making the top 3 and growing weary from a day of meetings and a night of rumbling, Mark gave up the fight from shear exhaustion and settled for 9 points.

Surprising everyone with her appearance and her play, Crystal fought valiantly until the bitter end but simply couldn't overcome the ammunition Jake had accumulated and left the game with 11 points.

Finally, with the carnage all around him, Jake stood up amongst the wreckage and triumphanly declared "Hit me! Come on, hit me now mother frakkers!" The bullet ridden walls, tables, chairs a stark testiment to the battle just waged and the victims who had fallen. Having grown weary of taking hits, Jake returned the favor and from very early in the game amassed an arsenal of chips that was simply too much for anyone to overcome. When it's your night it's your night and from the beginning Jake, with his quad 5s, made it known he wasn't here to take another hit. No, tonight he was delivering them. So with his first ever win at TNP and 13 points, the gangland war is delcared and God help anyone caught in the middle. Congrats Jake, but take care, we'll be gunning for ya next week. Revenge is a powerful motivator.

Here's a look at the crime scene, by the numbers.

TABLE 1
Crytsal
Mark
Adam
Nick
Jeff
Ben

TABLE 2
Stevie
Tanner
Jake
Justin
Devin

FINAL TABLE
Nick
Devin
Jeff
Adam
Mark
Crystal
Jake

HAND OF THE NIGHT
Jake's quad 5s

RESULTS
11. Justin 1
10. Tanner 2
9. Stevie 3
8. Ben 4
7. Nick 5
6. Devin 6
5. Jeff 7
4. Adam 8
3. Mark 9
2. Crystal 11
1. Jake 13

Next week we'll have Deb back from her vacation. And once again we'll gather for another shoot out at the TNP hideout! Until then, may all your cards be live, your pots be monsters and your ammo clip never empty!

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

With our two straight players out of town tonight, namely Deb & Crystal, that'll leave queens & queers to fight over food & points. Deb is on vacation with her family at Six Flags in Arlington, and Crystal is in Ft. Worth bringing her family home. While being absent usually leaves you vulnerable, Deb's lead is big enough that she's safe this week. Even if I could win, there won't be enough points for me to make up the deficit. So, all I can do is try to close the gap and keep competitive for when I'll be gone next week. Adam has thrown down the gauntlet and guaranteed he'll win tonight. I think the rest of us will have something to say about that, birthday or not! Stevie will likely be dragging ass. He had an appointment today that cut short his sleep time. Mark & Justin, Nick, Jake & Tanner will round out our competitors tonight. So we'll see who will don makeup and a dress to replace the two ladies who's beauty, grace and charm shall be sorely missed tonight. Mark? Justin?

The Last Supper

So far I've got Nick bringing potato salad and I'm providing some polish sausage & brats. If it's too much of a hassle each month for these meals, then I think we should make this the last one. Trouble is, too few will commit early enough before the day we eat to make sure we have enough food for everyone. I get several calls just before it's time to eat saying "what do you need?" Without having the menu secured at least a day before, we risk not having enough or everyone scrambling at the last minute and duplicating what someone else is bringing. Also, I realize everyone has a schedule they have to juggle. In order to get the meal in before we start poker, we need to eat early and that makes it difficult for some to even know if they'll be able to make it. In the future we could have meal night but make it BOYF, and that way it's up to everyone to bring whatever they're going to eat themselves. I just thought it was nice to have some home cooked meals for the group but that may just be too much trouble. So, let's get this one done tomorrow night and decide from there. I still need someone to bring a cookie/cake, and something to go with grilled sausage, brats & potato salad. Otherwise, it's going to be slim pickins.

Polling results

Yep, not only is she in her 5th week at #1, but it's likely, even though she'll be gone this week, it'll be 6!

We blew this one! Stevie did indeed pass Tanner!

The Nick passing Adam question became entangled in the recount contraversy, so this one gets tossed out.

This one we got right. Crystal is on top of this heap!

Dam gays!

Everyone loved Crystal's new doo!

This was a run away, Deb shakes worse than a quake in China!